Do you remember just a few posts ago, I was so excited about spending time with Chel? Now, the situation has undergone a 180 degrees (not 360 whereby we are back to square one but totally opposite turn) turn. Recently, after spending so much time convincing my parents to go UK, they finally allowed and was exactly the period where Chel was free or the time she gave me when she would be free. Not only that, I finally convinced my parents to let me overstay in Chel's house for up to a week as Chel said that she had prepared room for us if we went to UK to visit her. I was extremely and tremendously excited about it.
But, that's when the drama started. She seemed cold when I told her my parents allowed me to stayed in her Hs and said that she have to wait for her mum's response. I was cool with that though. Then abt a week later, she told me that as her bro was having exams soon, I could only stay for the max 3 days and could not stay in her house during the day and had to go Birmingham by bus on my own... Although i was disappointed (it was my very 1st time in Europe and I wanted to explore as much as possible, even if it's on my own), I eventually accepted it and lied to her that everything was booked as my dad could book anytime since he is so busy and I was afraid of her changing her mind. Indeed, a few days later, she blasted me by saying that I could no longer stay in her Hs anymore and that she would buy a train ticket to London to find me instead. While reading her email,I was extremely disappointed and was on the verge of crying. This means that all she had said in the past are lies? Furthermore, had I dad really booked the trip, I have to pay an additional penalty to change my flight back to the original flight that my family are on. It suck you know! Despite that zillion disappointment tat she has caused me I was thinking that at least she is still willing to meet me in UK. At last, a few days before my Europe trip, she emailed me again, this time saying that she could not meet in UK and did not buy that train ticket to London as she was alr going to Sg the next few months, despite me sending our itinerary to her upon her request so that's he could choose the day. I was thinking, if Feli had not been there when I received the email (I had pride, I did not want Feli to see me as a loser whom others did not care much about), I would have broken down in tears. Furthermore, I had to break the news to parents who totally disliked her and looking down on me sometimes for making the wrong friend. I HAVE PRIDE TOO!!! Each time such a news came up from her,I have to report to my parents and it sucks to keep defending her, it's like losing my pride and confidence each time such shitty situation happens. It really sucks.
Feli was the only one who I could confide to and was kind enough to make me feel better by offering to talk to Chel. Indeed, they really talked about it (even though I'm not too sure abt the contents), and Feli told me that Chel really had some reasons for doing so, even though some of them are selfish personal ones. Towards the end, it seems like Chel will contact me directly to explain to me abt it. Thus, I waited and waited, even when I was in UK I still waited. It seems like Chel didn't even intend to fix this shitty situation up even though Feli had convinced me to have an understanding heart (and I really did).
It feels so disheartening and painful (almost as bad as when my grandma passed away on my bday). It sucks to know that I have trusted the wrong person. Despite me sacrificing so much for her (my results, my precious time, my hard-earned money, etc), she does not give a damn about me!!! Sucks to the max!!! I've trusted the wrong person all the while!!! The cushion that I once thought I had was disguised with thorns that could hurt me just as easily as a simple sentence from her. I explained this to Feli and she totally feel for me, and I did the right thing by pulling away.
People might think that I'm petty just bcos she did not want to meet me. But it's not just it, it's about giving empty promises, and just not givin a damn abt me despite how pathetic I look like when I replied her. I've officially lost my pride and confidence with her. The more the expectation, the more the disappointment when the situation does not go in ur way. I feel tat I have f****** wasted my time on her!!!
Now I wonder, if this had not happen, how long more am I gonna be blinded my her? Is it just me or did she intend to treat the rest like that? What would happen if Lin or Feli are the ones going UK instead? What should I do?
This question have been lingering in my mind the whole time, but do I want to hear the ans? I don't know... As of now, I'm really heartbroken.
